April 12th 2018 was a beautiful day, the sun was shining, the flowers were blooming, and the birds were chirping. The coming of spring signifies new beginnings, growth, and hope. This wasn’t the case for me, April 12th was the day I tried to commit suicide.
Home was like a prison, A place that I once loved but now detested. I endured physical abuse from my mother and had no freedom to make my own choices. My mom would ask me questions and before I could answer she would beat me with whatever she was holding in her hand. She chased me as I tried to get away from her throwing anything she found in her way at me. I would run to my room and close the door as fast as I could.
I wanted to give up. I did not want to live this kind of life anymore. I was so scared to come out of my room that I would only take showers when I knew everyone else was asleep. I couldn’t go anywhere, every day it was the same things, home and school, those were the only two places I was allowed to go. I was tired, I couldn’t take it anymore, I wanted to give up. I did not want to live this kind of life anymore.
That night I took twenty pills of Tylenol in hopes that I would not wake up the next day. I went to sleep hoping that it was my last day on earth. The next morning I woke up disappointed to find out that I was still alive. Instead of wallowing in my sorrows I decided that my failed suicide attempt was a sign from God and that I should ask for help. At school that day I told my English teacher everything from my home life to my suicide attempt the previous day. She connected me with my local Department of Human Services building and informed me of all the choices I had.
A couple days later social workers from the Department of Human Services came to my house and talked to my parents. My parents got scared that they would lose custody or even go to jail that they stopped abusing me. Even though my home life was still far from perfect, I was proud that I took action and asked for help.
I have gone through lots of hardships throughout my life but through everything my education always comes first. Looking back now I regret my decision to attempt suicide but I respect the path that it led me on. If I hadn’t asked for help I would’ve missed the chance to go to my senior prom, I would’ve missed the chance to graduate high-school, and I would’ve missed the chance to apply to college. My weakest moment taught me that I am strong and I can change my life through the power of education. I am strong.